I always seem to grapple with the “why” of my India travels about this point in the trip. Why do I keep coming back? Why don’t I go somewhere relaxing and beautiful (I might get more takers for travel companions if I choose somewhere else to go)? In reading back through the blog post from thirteen months ago, I feel many of the same things. And yet I have even more peace, and what feels like more persuasion this time around. Last time I wrote about the easy answers and the truth: I really don’t know why I keep coming back. (This year I get to add “for a friend’s wedding” as a truthful answer, which I’m absolutely thrilled about!!!)
I also asked myself the question:
Who on earth decides she is going to pack her bags and go visit India? And what kind of person continues to go back?
And this answer continues to be true:
This girl does. This girl who has a mystifying love for India, and a craving to experience it more. I don’t know why. I just do. I just go. And I go in faith that at some point in time He will make it clear why I go-- faith that He will show me why I keep coming back. I will go with my God.
The same prayer I had then echoes through my mind today: My Savior is a planner. He has provided for me this far. He has given me the desire to return to India, despite its lack of creature comforts. He has given me a heart for India. I know He has brought me here for some purpose. I continue pray that I have the courage, faith, and heart to say “yes” to whatever challenges He has planned for me ahead. I continue to pray that I can serve Him, be His hands and feet, spreading His love with abandon on those He has sent me to serve. So yes, I’m confident that I am supposed to be right here.
On the lighter side of things, one of the things I like about returning to India is the lack of options. I know this may sound odd, but there is something very refreshing about not having options sometimes. For instance, in any given US grocery store there is something like 47 different types of bottled water. BOTTLED WATER, folks! Not to mention paper towel options, toilet paper and don’t even get me started on shampoos. In my experience, in India, you have maybe two options for bottled water (if you’re lucky) and then were talking 1 liter vs. 2 liter size.
The lack of options cracks open the necessity for creativity, especially re: my perspective of therapy. In my world of physical rehabilitation, we have about as many choices with adaptive aids as we do with bottled water. For a simple example, we have three (immediately available to us at our facility) options for sock aids. We have a myriad of different configurations for manual and power wheelchairs, and a single call to a vendor puts into motion the perfect (or as close to it as we can get to perfect) setup for someone with wheeled mobility needs. This side of “the lacking” is not the side I appreciate as much. This is the darker side that makes my heart ache a little. However, this is the side I find purpose in facing head-on. This side of “fewer options” is the side that facilitates the growth of creativity.
I am looking forward to embracing the “fewer options” with all the simplicity and complexity that it unearths. I also wonder if this perspective of mine is part of why I keep answering the call to return.
“…walk humbly with your God.” – Micah 6:8
“…’for I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord…” Jeremiah 29:11